Of dumpsters and being caught in the closet
by OakeX
Summary: 'Cause kissing's kissing, regardless of whatever gender you are. Based off a prompt from Annie Carter (cheers, Annie). Oneshot. WARNING: Contains homosexual relationship (as the name implies). If you're offended by any of that stuff, might want to skip this then.


**Inspired in part by some fascinating PM's I've had with Curlscat, a nice prompt from Annie Carter (didn't really stick to the prompt that well, by the way), and my own desire to make a crack pairing fic. Hope you enjoy it.**

 **WARNING: Contains a homosexual relationship. Specifically between two guys. So if you're sensitive to guy-guy-kissing and all that jazz, I'd advise you don't read this.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Sisters Grimm.**

* * *

The boy slams the fairy against the wall.

"Oh it's been a while since we've done this," Puck grins, as the boy presses his lips on his.

"Mm," the boy grunts, in between kisses, "Six months and twenty-three days, to be precise. Plus a few hundred years or so."

"You've been counting?"

"Like you haven't."

"I actually thought it was six months and twenty-four days."

"You're not supposed to count today."

Puck pulls away. "Why not?"

"'Cause technically we're doing this on the twenty-fourth day, so it doesn't count."

"Well actually—"

"Oh, why are we arguing about days?" the boy snaps. "We're supposed to be making out here."

"Classy way to say it, Peter."

Peter snorts. "Like you're one to talk about classy."

"I'm the classiest person you'll ever meet."

"Oh, be quiet." The boy resumes kissing him, and the pair are silent (except for some muffled groans) for a while.

Puck runs a hand down Peter's calf. "You've gotten rid of the green tights."

"They tore too easily."

"But jeans are indestructible, right?" Puck grins.

Peter shrugs. "They're fashionable. And I look good in them."

"Eh. The tights were funnier."

"Of course you'd say that."

"What'd you expect?" He presses his lips on Peter's, cutting him off mid-sentence, and their tongues touch briefly. Peter pulls away, and tears his jacket off.

"It is way too hot in here," he pants.

"It's winter."

"Still too hot in here."

"That's 'cause of me."

Peter throws his jacket down, and looks at Puck with a wicked glint in his eye. "For once, Puck, you're right."

Puck sucks in air in anticipation, and they're back at it with renewed passion. A few minutes later, Puck tosses his jumper onto the ground too.

"God, I've missed this," he groans.

"Remind me why we stopped again?"

"Oberon didn't like the idea of _us_. And then I was stuck in Ferryport."

"Oh that's right."

"How'd you find me, anyway?"

He senses rather than sees the redhead shrug his shoulders. "I asked around."

"Must have done a lot of asking."

The boy quirks a grin. Puck can feel the twitch of his lips on his own.

"It was worth it," he says.

Puck smirks teasingly. "Are you going soft on me, Peter?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I did it to find Relda too."

Puck puts a hand on his heart. "I'm hurt."

"That'd I'd choose my adopted mother over you?"

"Exactly."

"Deal with it." Peter sniffs the air. "What is that smell?" he frowns.

"Probably the dumpster over there."

"Oh. I thought it was you."

"Rude."

"Really though, Puck. Out of all the places you could've chosen, you picked the spot with a dumpster."

"No one uses the path!"

"Still."

"Oh, shut up. Like you could choose better."

"I probably could." He starts kissing Puck's neck, and whatever reply the fairy was going to make dissolves into a moan.

"So," the blonde pants, "after this, we go back to hating each other?"

A nod. "Probably. Until next time."

"When will that be?"

"We'll decide later."

The blonde grunts. Grasping Peter by the hips, he spins them round so that he's got Peter pressed up against the wall.

"It's my turn," he smirks.

The redhead grins, and runs a hand up Puck's back. "When do you have to get back by?"

He consults his watch. "In about ten minutes."

"Not a lot of time."

"I know." He looks almost sad.

Peter bites his lip. "You want to practise our 'I hate you's then?"

The lust in Puck's eyes fade. They are replaced by something approaching affection (or even love?). "If you want."

"Alright. I'll start. I hate you." He slips his hand in Puck's.

"I hate you too." He squeezes Peter's fingers.

"You're a slobbish lazy self-serving arse." He kisses Puck's cheek.

"You're a no-good tights-wearing little goody-two-shoes." He nuzzles Peter's neck.

"I've got a pet dog at home who's got better table manners than you." He pushes his free hand through Puck's hair.

"You've got a bigger stick up your arse than the scarecrow in my yard." He kisses Peter's nose.

"Ooh, I like that one."

"I know right?"

"I think we're good enough. Want to finish off?"

"Go ahead."

Peter pauses for a second, thinking. He grins.

"I hate you with every fibre of my being," he says, and presses his forehead against Puck's.

A beat of silence, as Puck thinks. He brings their intertwined fingers to his lips.

"I'll hate you 'til the sun dies." He kisses Peter's fingers.

"How poetic."

"First and last time I'll ever say something like that."

"What a shame."

"Not really."

"Kiss me."

Puck smirks. "My duty to serve." He angles his head to kiss Peter's neck, and Peter half-closes his eyes.

"I've really missed this..." he says, as Puck's lips make contact.

"So have I."

For a few minutes, there is silence, except for a couple breathy sighs.

Puck moves down to Peter's shoulder blades, and his teeth go gently down on his skin.

The boy goes rigid. "Puck..." he trails off.

The fairy chuckles. He keeps kissing.

"Puck, stop it."

"You know you don't mean that."

"Puck, really."

"Why?"

He pushes the blonde off, and a knife leaps up into his hand. "Puck, there's someone there!"

The fairy turns sharply, sword half-drawn.

A blonde girl stares back at him, cheeks flaming and mouth wide open. A bag of groceries drops to the ground beside her.

"Uh... Um— Uh..." she stammers.

"Grimm?" Puck asks.

The girl shakes her head. "Uh... hi, Puck."

"What are you doing here?" He turns to Peter. "It's alright, she's a friend."

There's a _shik_ , as the knife slides back into its scabbard.

Sabrina motions to the bag beside her, eyes still bulging. "I uh... went to the supermarket to get some stuff, and then I... um... I decided to take the shortcut back here, and bumped into you guys..."

"And saw... us."

"Yeah..." She stands there, shuffling her feet awkwardly, until the redness in her cheeks dies down a little.

"Well... I'd better be going..." She picks up the bag and begins to walk off.

"Wait!"

She turns back. "Hm?"

"Hold on." Puck sighs wearily. "I'll walk you back." He turns to his boyfriend. "See you later?"

"How much longer would we have had, just out of interest?"

"About... uh... five minutes."

"Not that long..."

"No, not really."

"Well, nevermind then." The boy gives him a quick peck on the lips, then turns to the girl (who's starting blush again). "Nice to meet you, uh..."

"Sabrina."

"Sabrina. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

"Sorry for pulling a knife on you."

"No problem. I would have done the same."

He half-smiles. "I like her," he says to Puck.

The fairy snorts. "You and only you."

"Hey!"

"You've got my number?" Puck asks the boy.

"You scrawled it down my arm in permanent ink. I'm not losing it anytime soon."

The fairy chuckles. "Call me tonight. We'll make up for those lost five minutes."

"Can't wait."

"See you later?"

Peter pulls him in for another, longer kiss. He grins apologetically. "Sorry, can't seem to get enough of that. I'll see you later."

He raises an eyebrow. "I hate you."

He winks. "I hate you too."

...

"You can't tell Granny," Puck tells her, as they walk back.

"Why not?"

"Because I want to tell her."

"Oh. Okay, fair enough."

They walk in silence for a bit.

"If it changes anything," Sabrina says "I don't mind that you're gay. And I'm sure Daphne and the others won't either."

"It's not you guys that I'm worried about."

"Huh?" Then her frown clears. "Oh. I'm sure the grown-ups'll be fine with it too."

A sigh. "I hope they will."

She pats his arm reassuringly. "It'll be fine," she says, "they'll understand."

"And if they don't?"

"They will."

"And if they dont?!"

She turns to him. She sees the distress he's been so carefully masking. "If they don't, they don't," she says coolly. "Go out with Peter anyway."

"But—"

"Look, if Granny smiles and gives you a hug, or if Granny glares at you and says marriage is between a man a woman, it won't matter. Date Peter anyway." She smiles. "Make out with him in alleys by dumpsters anyway, if you want. You two go and do whatever you want, and who cares what the others say."

He plays with his fingers. "I don't know..."

"Why?"

"What if they hate me..."

"Don't be stupid. At worst, they'll be disappointed in you." She waves her hand, as if to say _And who cares about that?_ "But they'll get over it, if they have anything to get over in the first place."

"And if they don't?"

"Don't understand?"

"Don't get over it."

"Then leave." She shrugs. "Elope with Peter. If worst comes to worst, me and Daphne'll go over and take care of you." She grins at him. "But I doubt it'll ever come to that."

He looks at her. "You think?"

"It'll be fine, Puck," she says, and slaps him on the shoulder. "Trust me."

* * *

 **So, Annie, did you expect me to interpret the prompt like this? Because if you did, dang woman you are psychic.**

 **For those interested, by the way, the prompt was 'AU in which your OTP meets in a dumpster or a port-a-potty'. And even though my OTP is actually Sabrina and Puck, they did technically meet in (or by, rather) a dumpster. Puck just happened to be kissing a dude, is all.**

 **Also, thank you, Curlscat. You didn't give me the idea specifically, but you got some gears going, so thanks.**

 **Thanks for reading, guys.**


End file.
